Archive for the ‘health’ Category

Obsession
January 18, 2009

Now I think I’ve been hard on myself in getting myself to write in this blog. Hard on myself, like I am on many other things. So I’lll relax a bit, and be happy even if some of the stuff I’m writing remains in drafts. I should be satisfied that I get to empty my head.

I saw my psychiatrist last Saturday. (It’s a “checkup” for most doctors, but a “talkup” for those like me who can’t be examined with physical evidence.) I told him about some recent problems with obsession. I was fanatically obsessed about being perfect in something. I was getting very angry with myself for falling short.

So in writing, I shall let go.

Loud
December 9, 2007

I used to be a music lover. I used to play in bands. But no more.

I have no iPod – no portable music player of any kind.

I have to play music out loud. That often is socially unacceptable.

Ear pain is to blame. I can’t stand sound piped into my ear. I no longer tolerate amplified music. I had my hearing checked – it’s fine. So I don’t know for sure what causes my ear problem. It could be the side effect of the lithium I take.

Sometimes I just want to listen, so I have to make a sacrifice. The listening is fine; the pain and ringing comes after.

Sweetness Addiction
December 8, 2007

I’m now trying to cure my sweetness addiction. I don’t smoke, and drink alcohol rarely. Mostly, I’m addicted to carbohydrates and simple sugars. Combining these with caffeine and chocolate are a bonus. I make excuses to eat them.

Why am I posting this? I need to come clean. Or perhaps seek support. It’s hard, but I’m not growing younger and I have diabetes in my genes. I need to watch out.

I need to add: food blog envy. Wishing I had the time and money to eat all the stuff mentioned in Pinoy food blogs! Not just sweets. Anything.

Blogging about Mental Illness
June 16, 2007

Blogging about mental illness is difficult.

Gail’s interview post where she answers my interview questions is insightful and revealing when talking about a family member. Now, I want to post more about my own experiences but to be honest I’m still quite embarrassed just thinking about them. These events transpired in 1998. Maybe next year, on the 10th anniversary, I will post and tell all.

For now I can just share that I have bipolar disorder, and am taking medicine until now. Yes, I’m still quirky. And I did my time in psychiatric wards, or “basements.” I had the strangest psychotic experiences there, and outside, and the crazy thing is that I can remember most of what happened. I can remember the warped thoughts I was thinking.

It wasn’t fun, in retrospect, so I don’t recommend doing something that will force you to go. (Like taking illegal drugs.) But, if you need to go, you should go.