There are plenty of side projects that I can work on while here on my foreign assignment. I can do them after working at our client. I can do them on weekends, which are quite idle.
But I barely do them, Research & Development that used to be my lifeblood. Am I losing it as a techie?
Or, is it I’m becoming older. Physically, I’m less willing and capable of working 12 to 16 hours a day like I did ten years ago. Back then, I was very motivated and obsessed that I was working on something that would make it big. Did I succeed? Sadly no, not in my opinion. I guess I gained in a few small things but what I lost out on is enough to make me go thinking all the time, what could have been?
Part of what could have been would be: what if I spent more time in being a more artistic and cultured person? That is what I am trying to catch up on – the reason I make efforts at writing. But part of me says, I have to try a second time at success, I’m never too old, and aging is a good thing as it leads to maturity.